Patience. Faith.

It is tough, sometimes,
When it seems like it's taking too long.

I have been waiting for the moment,
Unfortunately, sometimes even start questioning.
When the dark thoughts set in,
I start to question myself,
My identity as a child of God,
My authority,
My Father's love.

But God,
You've been faithful.
Your constant reminder, reassurance,
Your hands trying to keep my heart at bay.

It is tough, sometimes,
To wait.
But it is gonna be worth it.

So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word.

 -Hebrews 10:23 (AMP)

 

Father give me a heart that is strong in You,

that even storms cannnot shake it.

 

Let You in

You've been knocking,
You've been waiting,
You've been faithful.
Standing outside the walls I built,
You called out to me.
On the other side of the wall,
I am afraid of the unknown.
Oh how years' experience made me numb.

But You offered your hand,
You said You will walk with me,
You have plans,
To prosper me and not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Tear down my walls, Father.
Give me faith.
Courage to face the unknown with You by my side.

The Spirit and bride say come for your beloved one.

Being away

"It's different. You got used to being away from them."

Well, I guess I should be right?
Been away for so long and I should get used to be without my parents.
But some things I will never get used to.
I will still be home sick
Whenever I think of them,
Whenever I see a photo on Facebook,
Whenever I have a bad day,
Whenever I am tired,
Whenever I miss mum's cooking or dad's pasta,
Whenever I feel so stressed and remember how mum always says it's okay.

I miss them
And everything that reminds me of them.

Just because I need to stay strong for them,
Just because I know crying doesn't help,
Just because I didn't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it.

I miss them more than ever, and I know it's ok.

I've played out a thousand scenes in my mind
How the conversation goes,
How you'd look at me with those eyes,
How you'd listen to me patiently,
How you'd reply my words,
How you'd laugh like a child.

Then I opened my eyes,
But you're not here.

Lets go

Do you remember?

"Lets drive to somewhere high and dark and quiet,
and just sit there whole night lying down staring at the stars."

"Yes lets go."

Save me

When darkness takes over
And my heart strats to break
When the pain is so great
And I start to run away
When things are suffocating
And my faith is shaking

I am sorry I have ran
I am sorry I was angry
I am sorry that You are not the first I go for comfort

My heart has harden
My ears are closed

But You still love me.
You still have a plan for me.

Will You come and save me?

 

Over the miles

Distance
such a scary thing.

Far away from everything familiar,
Far away from everything comfortable,
Far away from everything that once was your whole world.

When distance, time and busy schedules come in the way,
How does the relationship work?
Maybe we just got tired of taking the initiative,
Forgot about the colourful past,
About the memories we shared.

Late night talks,
Smiling faces,
Teary eyes,
All so precious,
All so beautiful.

Distance,
It's not just physical,
It's also the feeling of being a stranger.
It's the bare fangs, waiting to tear your heart out.

Heavy heart, heavy heart.

We are our own worst enemy

 

Letting go frees us from all the chains that are holding us down,

And bring us to another level,

A brighter tomorrow.